We all want to be happy! But when we see our lives, we feel that happiness is missing. We work, make money, collect materials, make careers, and still we find that happiness is missing. Happiness is a very important factor to gauge our well being and mental health. There may be millions in your account, but if you are not happy, you are poor.
What are the factors which prevent us from being happy? We really need to know what they are:-
- Stay close to facts:- The main cause of your unhappiness is not the situation, but the way you think about it! If there are just $50 in left your bank account, you start to feel that you have become miserable. You start to feel pity of yourself. That feeling is wrong. Stay close to facts! It is true that you own less money, but you are not miserable. Stay close to the fact. If you imagine that this end of your world or life. Then you are just indulging in imaginations. These self-indulgences can create a hell of sadness. Staying close to facts is empowerment, which creates happiness. So in this case the fact is “only $50 left in your account”. Do not build stories around it other than being factual! The state of feeling miserable leads to sadness. Then you feel that your powers are gone. Then the emptiness can start engulf. Learn to analyze the situation with a critical and reasonable mind. Yes you are not in a very good financial situation, but are also not miserable. What factors led that now you have only $50 left in your account? What efforts you need to make to earn a good living. Maybe you need to find a better work. Maybe you need to cut your spending. Maybe you can just laugh at the situation. If you think positively, this moment can become an inspiring factor too. Look at the people who do not even have $50 in their account. There are hundreds and thousands of people in the world you are in real poverty and no means to feed themselves and their families. There are so many people in the world who sleep hungry at night and do not have any means of income. You are in much better situation. If you look at the history, so many people lost everything in wars. So many people lost all of their family members and had to flee their country empty-handed. But they still had to live. They still had to find happiness. So do not feel miserable so quickly unless there is a real reason behind to feel like this.
- Stop emotional reactions:- You will stay sad if you often create emotional reactions to what is said to you. It happens many times at workplaces when a boss or coworker has said something which may sound unfavorable to you. You instantly start to feel heart-broken! You feel that you just want hide your face and cry. You are feeling super emotional. Maybe their intentions were not as bad as you thought, you just felt like that. Stop expecting high-standards all the times! Stay close to reality! If some words can ruin your whole day, you yourself are responsible for your suffering. Someone’s a few words are not going to lower what you are. If you are a great person, you will stay a great person despite what was said to you. But if you react emotionally, your state of happiness is certainly going to go down. Even if someone had has said bad to you intentionally, do not react emotionally to it! Do not let their words take down your happiness. You should be guardian of your happiness. Happiness comes from inside! You cannot depend on external factors all the times for your happiness. Your happiness is precious! Learn to preserve it! The whole world can turn bad for you, but if you choose to be happy, you can be happy.
- You are not always a victim:- You maybe sometimes, but you are not “always” a victim. When wrong things happen in day-to-day life, you tend to feel that everyone is just taking advantage of you. Maybe, sometimes, it is true. But this is not always true. Stop portraying yourself a victim in every situation. Projecting yourself a victim means that you are accepting that you are not empowered. If you are feeling yourself not empowered, you yourself are pushing the happiness away from your life. Empowerment is source of happiness. Feeling of being victim is source of sadness. Then you will blame everyone. Even if you are really a victim, find ways to empower yourself.
- Learn to analyze reasonably:- For example, at a workplace, if you feel that you are being burdened with lots work, yes the situation requires proper organizing or communication with your manager or co-workers, but you can still stay very happy. Just do what you can do, if you cannot compete every single task by end of the day, that is OK. Leave the workplace smiling and meet your family smiling at home.
- Do Random act of kindness:- Being kind towards others is a direct invitation to happiness. Kindness has positive Ripple effects. Kindness will not only make your heart happy, but also make a big difference in the world of others. Kind hearts are always happy hearts. Stop for people who needs help. Spend your time creating a better situation for them!
- Accumulating, not giving away:- We live under the wrong impression that collecting or accumulation money or materials will contribute to our well-being. Sometimes we fight or struggle for it. However, we do not realize that the real happiness lives in giving away, not collecting. Studies have shown that when we give something away (in the form of a donation or small gift), it makes our inside happy. It also shows we care for others too. Give to your community! Give to a charity! Give if your good friend needs help! Share if you cooked a delicious food! Giving is so wonderful! Practice it! It will put a smile on your face.
- You do not need to smart all the times:- Human brain is trained to find faults. We believe if we point out a mistake or error, we will be considered genius. Sometimes we do this because we are crazy to get appreciation all the times. Sometimes we do not shy to hurt others just to prove how smart we are. Learn to avoid it if this is not required. If someone is making an honest mistake, it is Ok. We all make mistakes and learn from it. Do not try to become a judge all the times. Let things settle themselves.
- Ego:- Ego is number one enemy of happiness. Ego and happiness just cannot stay together. It is OK to feel proud of your careers, accomplishments, education, wealth, or beauty in a good way, however if this is leading to ego, then you are just killing your happiness. Ego won’t let you live a fulfilled life. You true accomplishment is being humble and happy. Simple and ago-less living is just like a the best flowerpot for your beautiful plant of the heart.
- Adopt a minimalist living:- Turn a TV on or check something on internet, flip a page in a magazine or start reading a newspaper, we all are constantly shown hundreds of advertisements to allure us to buy those things. And we do end up buying some of them. Stop that impulse! Minimalist living is the best living. Not only too much buying makes our home congested with unused things, but also becomes the biggest enemy of our wallet. Stop this impulse for your long-term happiness! It will also create more savings, which means that there will be more than $50 in your account. Same applies to your bank account, save so that you can use it in emergencies, but do not waste your lifetime just accumulating too much wealth, as we all know that money does not mean anything more than paying the bills.
- Move on:- We all face difficult people from time to time. Sometimes at home or work, things get a bit nasty and then we end up breaking up precious connections. Human brain is trained to pick up negativity as quickly as possible. We often forget the good time and tend to focus on all the bad things first. In this situation, we think that criticizing those people over and over will damage them, but actually we damage ourselves. It comes at the cost of our own peace of mind. Anger harms more who is angry. Real happiness comes from moving on, and slowing converting your angry feelings into happy ones. If you are happy in a bad situation, actually you are the winner.
- Loving people, plants and animals:- Like anger, racism harms the racist more. Bad feelings create a bad mood, which result into bad mental-health, which result into gloominess. This kind of gloominess effects everyone. Stop making generalizations! There are are good or bad people in all communities, faiths, and everywhere in the world. Humanity is surviving because there are lots of good people everywhere in the world. Practice equality! When you will think that we are all the same people, came from the same source, and now are in the same boat, it will make you happy.
- Enjoy others’ achievements:- When your family member, or friend or a colleague achieves something big, enjoy their achievements! Jealously and happiness also cannot stay together. Let others grow! Keep your heart big and vast like an ocean. If you are happy over the milestones and achievements of others, you will be happy all the times. Congratulations them, not just as a formality, like a real deal!
- Accept your bodies:- This is another biggest enemy of happiness. In the media age, we check mirror not to dress up or correct the collars of our shirt, we use it more to analyze what is missing in our bodies. Accept yourself the way you are! You are beautiful! Your skin colour is great. Your body weight is great. That mole on your face looks so good. Do not compare yourself to what you just have seen on the Instagram! Instagram people look good too and you look good too! Learn to separate virtual and real world!
- Form real friendships:- Although temporary isolation is not bad, but for longer happy and healthy living, meet people and form beautiful friendships. Be happy with them! Dance with them! Social media is good as long as you do not overuse, but meet real people too. Your social media followers are not coming to help you if you are sick in the hospital, only your real friend from real life will show up. Appreciate your friends! Plan weekends together and go out for fun!
- Then what? You do not have right to be sad? – Sadness is not dangerous if this is a good sadness. Yes we need to be sad sometimes. I consider myself a happy person, but sometimes I get sad too. However, we should become enough intelligent to learn the facts behind the sadness. Yes, there may be a death of loved one, you lost something real, you or your loved one is sick- yes we all become sad. But if the sadness is temporary, then it is all good. If the sadness is prolonged, then either you should find out the reasons behind your sadness or make efforts to come out of it as soon as possible because prolonged sadness can cause a big depressions.
Dance to be happy ———